The Restorer of My Soul
I have been in a funk for a little while, with the promises of God. I know extremely weird, but it is true. My funk has been that although God has deposited His promises into my spirit, I have not seen most materialized. Because I have not seen anything with my physical sight, it has caused me to become discouraged and frustrated. I have been doing my best to stay encourage; still going to worship, Bible study, and even joined a D (small) group…nonetheless, discouragement had set up residence. Doing my “work” in maintaining intimacy with my Father has not been the issue. However, since I had not seen anything come to pass, it was so challenging to remain positive of God’s promise.
I was teaching, but discouraged; studying, but feeling empty; attending worship, but struggling. Not even able to write my blogs…how could I encourage someone else in my own discomfort.
Here I was, discouraged and frustrated and all that I had attempted to do at this point was not fully working. God, have you left me, did You forget? The question I knew the answer to, but did I really? I cried out to the Lord, asking Him to show Himself new, to settle my discomfort, and let me know He had not forgotten about me (Psalm 77:1)…He did just that in one of the most unorthodox way; through home improvement which He started.
My first major task to tackle was the deck. Now, my deck truly hadn’t been touched in 5 years (don’t judge me) as I am really not one for decorating or even have much of a creative niche, but since being urged to do so, I wanted to do it with excellence. I rented a pressure washer for the deck and began to work. I have never used such a contraption, nor did I understand the weight I would have to carry. Pulling this gas ran pressure washer is a story all in itself, but this would take away from the lesson within this experience.
In my first attempt to use the pressure washer, not realizing the power behind it, it caused me to step back a bit. I mean the power behind this was amazing. As I pointed the wand toward the deck to clean, bit by bit, piece by piece, I noticed significant changes. The deck, this deck, MY deck, which had gray tint from excessive dirt that had been compounded into its fixture from the weather and occasional feet outside, started to change. This wasn’t an ordinary gray, not a cute gray, but a dingy gray that looked as though it had been misused, beaten, scorned, and trampled over. Get the picture? I KNOW I KNOW!!!! I got excited to…that’s when God spoke.
He said, “My child, this is you!”
I am the deck? Why yes, I am the deck. You see, the state of discouragement I was in, set me in a place of my own personal “gray.” But God, He, by the power of the Holy Spirit (pressure washer), is breaking through the dirt, cleansing me from the filth, and erasing the dinginess so I can be restored to my original state He created! He was making me new for He makes all things new! (Revelation 21:5)
This was the reminder I needed that He had not forgotten about me. But how could He? He knows the number of hairs on my head! (Matthew 20:30). My posture, which was once slumped in discouragement, was slowly beginning to rise. I recalled my experiences with Jesus and my confidence came back. So much so, I got caught up and stopped using the pressure washer. Of course, when I stopped using the pressure washer, the deck wasn’t getting complete. Such is life, when I am disconnected, discouraged, and all in my feelings, I cannot move forward. Well, I could, but I wouldn’t get far. A life without Christ and the Holy Spirit leading me is empty and desolate.
Just when I was in my groove of cleaning my deck, wouldn’t you know it, a blue mud dauber (YES a blue mud dauber) tried its best to sting me. Side note, I had to look it up, because it was a different kind of wasp. And God said, you will have distractions, in this world there will be trouble (John 16:33), BUT I have overcome the world. The fact this blue mud dauber was a different kind of beast threw me a bit, till I realized the devil likes to come in new forms just to trip me up from completing what God has started. The devil’s sole mission is to send distractions to get you discouraged from moving forward in Christ. The devil is the father of lies and half-truths (John 8:44).
Taking our focus from Christ to our situations and circumstances will prevent us from pressing forward. Whatever work God has set for you to do, He will see it through till completion (Philippians 1:6). All we have to do is say YES, trust and obey! At the end of the cleaning of the deck, my deck was restored to its original state’ without blemish, without chips, looking as if it had not been worn. Thank you, God, for restoring me, for giving me a new perspective, for seeing about me.
I am forever grateful I am Yours…the Restorer of my soul. (1 Peter 5:10)